Marking a lost loved one's Birthday

Adrian would have celebrated his 37th Birthday on the 27th of September. This is the 3rd birthday that we have gone through since Adrian died by suicide in 2019. 

Birthdays and other anniversaries such as Christmas, Easter, and the anniversary of their death, send you to a place of constant questions, memories and pain. You go around in the constant circle of sleepless nights, less tolerant of people and wish that people would just be quiet and leave you alone. The pain can be unbearable at these times, but somehow you do get through it and life goes back to the new normal and you learn to function again.

As a family we choose to celebrate the day. We visit him in his final resting place and all go for a meal where we all allow each other to talk about Adrian, and remember all the fun times that we had, inevitably we always end up laughing.  Life will never be the same, but I will never feel guilty about remembering all of the happy times that we shared with Adrian.

You can smile again and not feel guilty. Be sad, be mad, but amongst all this pain remember to try and smile and laugh, I am sure that is what our lost loved ones would want for us.

Happy Birthday Adrian, we will all be raising a glass to you.

Written by Denise Manoharan.