Practical concerns when bereaved by suicide: Taking time off and returning to work

Everyone experiences bereavement differently and we all express grief in unique ways, therefore our needs during the grieving process will be different. Many people take time off work (often called compassionate or bereavement leave), yet the amount of time needed will vary from person to person. This may also be determined by your place of work and their approach and policies on this subject. Whilst there are no official rules for how long an employee is entitled to have off for bereavement, and there is no legal right for this time off to be paid, the average amount of time given is 2-5 days. However, returning to work after you have lost someone to suicide can be difficult and those bereaved by suicide often need longer than 2-5 days to feel ready to return to their job.

When returning to work after being bereaved by suicide, there are a few things to prepare for and consider. You will be reminded of your loss as co-workers will pass on their apologies and condolences and some may even ask insensitive questions. Remember that a “thank you” is all that is required, and you do not need to answer questions or share details of your situation if you feel uncomfortable. 

You may struggle with getting back into the routine of work and you may find it difficult to concentrate and retain information. Grief can be exhausting, so it may help to confide in a colleague who you trust to help or review your work or remind you of certain things when you may struggle to remember.

Along with this, it can be helpful to choose a key person in the organisation to keep informed with your plans about returning to work. This key person can also share information with colleagues to reduce speculation in the workplace.  You may also get emotional at work in front of colleagues; remember that this is totally normal and that it is fine to take a break if you need to.

If you are feeling overwhelmed with your workload when you have returned to work, it is important to meet with your manager and team to discuss your limits, concerns and what feels appropriate. You could also consider working half days or less days a week to begin with to ease your way back into work.  

The topic of suicide often comes attached with stigma leading to awkwardness , and some colleagues in your workplace may be less educated on the subject and therefore they may behave inappropriately towards you when you return to work. If this happens it is important to let your key person know so they can handle the situation. You could also encourage your co-workers to learn more about suicide and grief to help them understand what you are going through. We have resources within our Conversation Guide that you can use to share with people.