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Death
Death is final. Processing that you won’t see someone ever again is difficult and can take a long time. It's important to remember that the end of someone else's life does not need to define the rest of your life.
Devastation
Losing someone to suicide can feel like your entire world is turning upside down. The shock, sadness, anger and multitude of other emotions can also be described as devastation. Whatever word feels comfortable for you to use is the right word. But remember this acute feeling will pass as you put your life back together again.
Depression
Similar to anxiety, there is a difference between diagnosed depression and then feelings of depression or being depressed. This is one of the terms that has become destigmatised and is now used a lot for when people are talking about their own mental health. Going through the hardest parts of grief can feel very similar to depression so it’s perfectly normal to use this term, but if you’re worried about your mental health it’s worth going to your GP to check in and see what they suggest.