Submission 111

Dear Dad,

There are no good words to include in such a letter. Various emotions mix with each other, I can't even arrange them properly in my head. A letter or even many letters is definitely not enough to tell about over 10 years of life. There will be no dialogue, which is what I would like the most. It is impossible to talk with a letter. At least 5 minutes with you to learn a few things - that's what I would love to have.

To this day, I often ask myself a few questions. Why did you do that? Was there really no other choice in your head? Why, not even once, even half a word, did you say it was all wrong, terrible? I also asks myself questions about me and our relationship. Could I talk to you more? Have I neglected our relationship? What did I do wrong that you didn't turn to me for help?

However, all these questions are pointless, you have simply not been with us for over 10 years. It would be selfish if I wrote now about things that you haven't seen in my life. Events you haven't attended. What saddens me most, however, is how many things you missed. You've never met your grandchildren, and I'm sure you would get along very well with them. How much joy it would be if you could show them how to better draw or paint something. They love to draw. And many, many other things that it makes no sense to write about. They will never happen.

It's hard for me to write this, all the moments that didn't happen hurt a lot. Maybe it would all look completely different, but I imagine it just like that, and it's terribly sad that it didn't happen.

If you miraculously read this letter, know that for me you were the best father and I am very grateful to you for how you raised me. I would not like to have another father, even though you were only my father for 28 years and despite many difficult moments. I love you, Dad, and I will always love you, you will always be in my memory and in my heart.