Submission 159

Dear Shane,

Dear Shane, your mam (my sister) was pregnant with you at the same time I was pregnant with my son, there were just a few months between you and growing up you were more like brothers than cousins. As you got older you went your separate ways but just picked it up again when you met up. Shane you were always the loud one, the lads lad, always laughing and lit up the room, I had such a soft spot for you. You had a career, started a business, married a lovely lass and had 2 beautiful daughters on the surface the ideal life. You hid your feelings so well, no one knew the depths of your despair, your 'demons' as we later found out you called them.

When my sister rang to tell me you had taken your own life no one could believe it; my son was asking "Why didn't he talk to me" over and over again. I supported your mam best I could and then realised in doing so I hadn't grieved for you, I shouldn't say it but you were my favourite nephew and I just couldn't take it in. I went to a SOBS group with the intent of helping others but realised I needed help myself and they helped me grieve for you. There is a huge hole in our family now and my sister and your own sisters will never be the same again.

I know you didn't mean to hurt anyone, I know you thought it was for the best but it never is, never will be, and we will never see you again and the hurt just goes on. I hope you are now at peace, you will always be loved and missed, we talk about you all the time and always will. Rest in peace my beloved nephew.