Submission 179

To my baby brother

It's hard to believe that five years have passed since that fateful day, July 29, 2018. It was the day when you chose to leave it all behind, seeking freedom from the struggles that burdened you. Little did I know that behind your enigmatic smile, you were silently carrying such profound pain.

In my thoughts, I often picture you traveling to a place so breathtakingly beautiful that mere words cannot describe. There, surrounded by an ethereal light of boundless love and eternal happiness, I like to believe your spirit thrives.

My heart aches every time I hear your favorite music by Joe Hisaishi or see a socially awkward-looking Asian adolescent boy. I wish I had spent more time with you, truly getting to know the wonderful person you were. If only I had another chance to hug you tightly and tell you how much I love you.

My greatest fear is that my memories of you will gradually fade away, and this sorrow and regret will numb me over time. But know this, my sweet baby brother, I will hold you close in my heart forever. I love you and miss you so much. I am so sorry that you endured feelings of loneliness and the weight of your life.