Alice Gledhill’s thoughts on self-care

Last week was tough. Work was crazy, my driving lesson was a disaster, my flat was falling apart, and to top it off, the weather was crap. I was feeling pretty defeated and all I wanted to do was curl into a ball under my duvet and hide from the world.

But that wouldn’t solve anything.

So instead, I practised self-care. But I don’t mean have-a-bath-and-watch-some-trashy-telly-with-a-tub-of-ice-cream-self-care. I mean the less glamorous, ‘boring’ self-care: The kind of self-care that ensures your future happiness and wellbeing, not the kind of indulgence that boosts your present mood.

I put in a few extra hours at work and will take them back next week; I booked another driving lesson, and I asked my neighbour to help with repairs in my flat. By doing these simple tasks that I didn’t really want to do, I made life easier for my future self. And knowing that made me feel a bit better in the moment, too.

We all practise self-care in our own way, and that’s great! You have to find what works best for you, and there’s no right or wrong way to nurture your mental health.

But I like to remind people that indulging in a takeaway, a bath bomb, or painting your nails will only give you short-lived satisfaction. If I had had a long, relaxing bubble bath at the end of last week, sure I’d have felt much calmer for the evening, but my work to-do list would still be overwhelming on Monday. I’d still be no closer to passing my driving test, and my flat would still be falling apart! (Most likely the weather would still be rubbish, too.)

So instead of always resorting to a quick happiness fix, what can you do to make tomorrow’s you feel happy? How can you look after your mental health next week, now?

With boring self-care! 

Boring self-care covers all the mundane things we don’t necessarily gain much pleasure from doing, but which put us in a better position in the not-too-distant future. Things like grocery shopping, taking prescribed medication, changing the bedding, looking after finances, making a dentist appointment (and sticking to it!), etc. Hannah Daisy beautifully illustrates these and other examples on her Instagram.

Boring self-care might even be something unpleasant. Brianna Weist says self-care “is often doing the ugliest thing that you have to do, like sweat through another workout or tell a toxic friend you don’t want to see them anymore.” 

It isn’t all about chocolate cake and salt baths, she writes, but making choices to help build a life you don’t regularly need to escape from.

Don’t get me wrong, treating yourself to chocolate cake or a salt bath every now and then is great, but it won’t make any positive impact to your well being two weeks from now. Only boring self-care can do that.

So next time you need to relieve stress, consider what boring self-care activities would help you… and you’ll thank yourself for it later!

Written by Alice Gledhill.