Katy Wix’s memoir Delicacy: A Memoir About Cake and Death

Katy Wix’s memoir is a graceful piece of writing that encapsulates grief in its rawest moments. Although not suicide-specific, her writing is incredibly moving, profound and very funny. The structure of the book focuses on the consistent presence of cake during traumatic events throughout her life:

“Cakes are filled with trauma for me. There’s been a lot of cake in my life”. 

Katy writes about her life growing up in Wales, moving to London, becoming an actress, and her grief journey. She details how she suddenly loses her best friend, and then tragically her parents, all within only a few short years. The book illustrates how grief changes you as a person, highlighting who you were before your loss and consequently who you become. Additionally, something that Katy illustrates really well is discussing ‘anticipatory grief’, after she slowly watched the deterioration of her ill father. Katy highlights how this drawn-out process can be extremely painful, knowing that grief is looming just around the corner. Delicacy is a gut-wrenching read which discusses themes we can all relate to, but this book also fills us with hope as Katy teaches us not to let your grief consume you, but to learn how to live with it. 

Here are some of our favourite quotes:

"Grief is so wise, so I can trust the process and that it is taking me somewhere. Without looking, I trust that there is healing going on behind my back, all the time. Grief is ancient and began long before I was born. Grief is older than me."

“I don’t always have to be thinking about the dead now, without feeling guilty. It wasn’t my death after all, it was theirs. I don’t know if I will outlive the grief or if the grief will outlive me. I might not need to grieve forever, who can say. There will be people after me who will still be grieving these people. I don’t have to do all of it”.