Language
To have conversations we need to have the language - obvious! But when you're bereaved by suicide you have to learn a new language that you have no previous knowledge of. New words are forced into your vocabulary, you have to navigate the physical feelings that words can trigger and most importantly find a way to communicate how you're feeling.
To add to this there can be cultural, generational and societal impacts on the language we use or feel we should use, meaning we may often feel uncomfortable with language that other people prefer in comparison to what feels right to us.
The most important language to get right for yourself is describing how you lost your loved one. It's something almost all of us struggle with at the start and there is no right or wrong answer, it's just what feels right to you.
From everything we've read and from speaking to our network, a couple of things were highlighted:
The word committed, and the phrase 'committed suicide' is triggering and outdated. It goes back to a time when suicide was a crime, which is no longer appropriate. We believe that we should all actively avoid using this word and phrase so that it is slowly but surely wiped out from society. We do however want to say that it's your choice and whatever you feel comfortable with is the right decision for you.
The most common phrases that people liked using were 'took their own life' or 'died by suicide'. You may find it useful to say these phrases a few times to yourself in a safe space to practice how you feel saying them and see what you feel most comfortable with. Even saying the word suicide a few times can be a helpful exercise.
