Language to Support
To have conversations we need to have the language - obvious! But when someone is bereaved by suicide and you're supporting them you have to learn a new language that you have no previous knowledge of. New words are forced into your vocabulary and you have to navigate the language that the person bereaved feels most comfortable with.
To add to this there can be cultural, generational and societal impacts on the language we use or feel we should use, meaning we may often feel uncomfortable with language that other people prefer in comparison to what feels right to us.
From everything we've read and from speaking to our network, a couple of things were highlighted:
The word committed, and the phrase 'committed suicide' is triggering and outdated. It goes back to a time when suicide was a crime, which is no longer appropriate. We believe that we should all actively avoid using this word and phrase so that it is slowly but surely wiped out from society. We do however want to say that it's your choice and whatever you feel comfortable with is the right decision for you.
The most common phrases that people liked using were 'took their own life' or 'died by suicide'. You may find it useful to say these phrases a few times to yourself in a safe space to practice how you feel saying them and see what you feel most comfortable with. Even saying the word suicide a few times can be a helpful exercise.
THERE IS SOME LANGUAGE THAT IS BEST TO AVOID:
Don't say 'At least'. For example; 'at least they're in a better place or can't feel the pain'. This is a minimising phrase and is not comforting to those bereaved.
Negative words like selfish or cowardly. These are outdated assumptions that are not appropriate as we know more about the reality of mental illness and suicide.
