Submission 124

Dad,

Well this is what you chose. I hope in the end you felt you had made the right choice and that it wasn’t too painful.

You certainly broke me and the family but we are surviving. I’ve retrained in psychotherapy. I like to think I am helping people with their mental health in a way that perhaps nobody helped you.

You were a good dad. You tried your very best and it wasn’t easy. I wish there had been the awareness of mental health and neurodiversity when you were growing up and when I was growing up. Perhaps things could have been different for the whole family.

You really hurt your youngest grandson you know. And how am I supposed to tell him? But you weren’t thinking of him or us were you. Just of yourself and the pain and the bleakness of the future maybe? Or maybe you thought you were a burden and it would help us if you left us? I will never know Dad but then I often didn’t understand the way your mind worked.

I hope you found mum and that she gave you a hug. Please tell her I miss her.

Go with peace and love

R