Submission 46

Mum,

Today's my baby girl's 13th birthday. I can remember back to the week she was born so clearly. I think you might have waited and wished for her even more than I did. You were so proud and excited... We spent so much time with you in those early years. Some say we almost lived in each others pockets. Maybe that's true. But you were my friend as well as my mum and her grandmother.

We loved spending time with you.I wish you hadn't moved away...I wish you hadn't moved back...I wish you hadn't spent so much time thinking back to the past and what might have been. Regretting choices. Lamenting the present and in doing so losing sight of what was good in your world. I wish we hadn't have argued (again).I wish I hadn't been so stubborn as to refuse to acquiesce and demand an apology that was never going to come.

I wish I could just go back and see you, tell you how much I love you. Tell you how loved you always were. Tell you that you were my friend. Tell you how much I miss you. Tell you.You.You. You. I love you mum.

Forgive me mum. x