Submission 47

J,

Half a lifetime has passed since you left us. Our memories of you have not diminished, rather they seem more vivid than ever. They are the invisible touchstone of our lives without you.

I think of all that you were, all that you gave and all that you left behind. It's still hard to recall the laughter we lost, the embraces we long for and the bright bright smile we can only now imagine.

Your suicide cast me adrift. Over time a new north emerged and I was able to plot a new course. More by trial and error than judgement dear J. You are never lost to us though.

So many conversations have brought us to understand the unvoiced pain you carried, the sense of hopelessness you felt and the seemingly bleak future you saw ahead. Our learning and hope is that your passing was not in vain - that space is given to every single person who needs the time to pause, to breathe, to rest awhile - and to recalibrate.

With you we have lived, we have learned and we have loved- enough for one lifetime at least. Our remembrance of you gives hope and help to those who are suffering so that they are no longer silent in their pain - we hear them and we are here for them - present and prepared.

Sail on dear J. We love you, we miss you and we carry you in our hearts still. x