Submission 67

Hi Sweetpea,

The sun is out and has been for a few days. You should be sunbathing on your balcony with Freddie on your lap and a beer in your hand. Now someone else is living in your lovely flat which we decorated and turned into a beautiful calm home.

Sadly, Covid and fears turned your anxiety into something much worse. You’ve been gone only 7 months, and each day is different for me. Sometimes everything reminds me of you and sets me off in floods of tears again, other days I manage to get through a bit better, but it is a case of getting through.

I send you pictures on WhatsApp of lovely scenery and tell you I will be over later for coffee. Telling myself you are pottering around at home is a comfort, then the punch in the guts starts again. I say the word, dead.

We were so close and now my best mate is gone. My phone is silent, no good night messages, no good mornings. How can this be true. You left when your pain was too much to bear, now I carry it for you, and it’s heavy.

I will stay strong to make sure you live on in my heart and will never be forgotten.

Love you always sweetpea xx