Submission 68

My big brother,

I often wonder where you are. I wonder if your there in the breeze and I look out into the horizon and tell myself your energy is soaring in the fuzzy bit between the sea and the sky. Because no energy can just disappear right?

I haven’t felt angry with you. How could I ? I know you made your decision and you did the best with what you had, and for you, the end of this life became the only option. I know you believed you would be in peace, and I think you are.

I miss you. I wonder what you would be making of this world, everything's so messed up. I wonder what music you would be listening to now.
Sometimes I get really scared, like this inner panic that your voice is fading away, the picture of you in my mind is a bit blurry around the edges, what if I cant hear your voice anymore? I wish you would come to me in my dreams- I really want to see you, will you visit me?

I love you.