Submission 78

Dear Marc,

There's so much I wish I could say but I won't ever find the words to explain the pain I feel without you, the hopelessness, how everything seems pointless without you.

I don't want to turn 25 without you and the older I get the more scared I am.
I am scared of growing away from you, scared of forgetting all the tiny things about you.

I see your face all around me, in people's bright blue eyes, or stubbly faces or nike tracksuits. It haunts me but I'm grateful to feel you with me.
I'm terrified for the day this stops.

A new Jackass film came out that you would have forced me to watch, I watched it for you.

I miss you and I'm so sorry I failed.
I love you, I have always loved you and I should have said it more.

I hope you feel peace

Rachel
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