Submission 89

To my lovely brother,

Today marks the sixth month that you have been gone, and yet I still have not accepted your death. I am not coping as I should, and I am in fact lying to myself every single moment of the day, telling myself that you will come back one day, that you will walk through the door and this will all be some cruel joke of yours.
You never did take death seriously.

I’m sorry, brother, that you could not find a reason enough to stay. That you felt so hopeless that you had to leave, escape, in whatever means necessary. Perhaps you are at peace, now.
I’m angry with you, mon amie. You hurt Mom and Dad, and your oldest brother and your youngest sister. You removed something irreplaceable from our lives, something we can never get back. I suppose this anger will subside. I don’t want to poison myself with bitterness, but I can feel it already affecting me mentally, physically, and spiritually.

I know you didn’t mean it to hurt us this bad, but alas. We are here and you are in Heaven.

I love you.

I’ll see you soon, before you know it.

Love, your sister