Submission 224

To my Big Bro,

It's almost been 100 days since you left us. Thinking about how you must have been feeling tears me apart and keeps me awake, scared of the nightmares that come. I feel like I can't keep the people I love, safe any more.
The guilt that I didn't do enough or did too much or didn't call in those last days is something I will never recover from. The pain of missing you is there every minute of the day and a cloud follows me - but seeing the pain of your sweet daughter breaks me over and over again. I miss you. I'm so sorry, and I hope you are peaceful and without turmoil, wherever you are.
My babies miss you terribly and we are trying our best to find a new normal with a whole in our lives forever.
Love from your sister who will never be the same again.