Submission 171

Dear son

I can’t believe you are really gone from us, you have left a deep hole in all our hearts, that will never be filled. I am so sorry, as your mum, that I didn’t realise you were in so much internal pain and that you felt you couldn’t reach out and share that with us.That’s what makes me sad, that you saw no future, because you could have had a good one. From a young age, life wasn’t easy for you having a heart condition, I had lost a brother suddenly to heart failure and I didn’t cope very well emotionally, for that too, I am sorry.

I am so proud of you, you turned out to be a lovely young man. I keep asking “why?” But only you can answer that question and you’re not here. You left no note. Everything I do now has an under current of sadness because of your absence. Until I take my last breath, I will always yearn for you. I miss you, we all do. Our hearts are broken. I hope you found the peace and tranquillity you were searching for.

I hope I will see you again in another realm just so I can tell you how much I love you. Always.