Submission 170

To my beautiful friend

It has been so long since we last talked. It has been 1095 days since you moved to a better place. I hope you are doing well; I hope you're okay. Life feels so strange. I feel like I don't belong here, I belong where you are. Every time I look at the sky, I smile because I know l'm seeing you up there, or when I put my finger over my tattoo, it is like i can still feel your heart beating through mine. You don't realise how much you mean to me.

I still cannot get over the fact that you are gone forever. I still cannot believe that you will never be able to text me again, that you won't be able to ask me how I am doing lately, and I cannot do the same back. You taught me how to believe in myself, how to survive the bad days, and to have faith that tomorrow is going to be a better day. You promised me that you were going to be there for me until your last breath. But I didn't know that your last breath was going to be so soon.

I loved you, and I still love you, and I'lI forever love you. You live deep inside my heart, and that is never going to change. Because you are never only a friend to me. You were the person I used to talk to 24/7 without ever getting bored. You were the person that understood me and never judged me. The person that never did me wrong nor hurt my feelings. You were someone that saved my life more times than I can count, and I just wish I could have saved yours.

You were always a source of happiness, motivation and strength to me, even when you were struggling yourself. You always put me first even when you yourself needed help. I still cannot believe it. I really wish to see you again. To tell you about everything that has been happening or bothering me, good and bad. And to honestly just hear you ramble about anything and everything.

You were unique, kind-hearted, funny, selfless, and the most amazing person ever. The world didn't deserve you, and the mental health system let you down. So, I pray that you're in heaven, laughing, baking things without burning them this time, making all your amazing crafts, beating my wii bowling record, and doing all the things that you wanted to do while you were here. Because if anyone deserves to get into heaven, it is you.

You are my guardian angel. Please take care of yourself for me (as I used to tell you when you were alive). I know you are watching me. Sometimes I feel like I can feel your existence around me, and I promise I'm going to make you proud. And I hate the fact that I cannot tell you that I miss you, I always will, and I'll never forget you.

All my love <3