To my best friend Aimee,

Words can't describe the loss I feel now you're not here. I keep typing and deleting what I want to say, but overall, I just want to say that I miss you.

Love Ashley x

Dear E,

I shouted at you a lot yesterday and I'm sorry.

We were driving over a bridge, it had fresh flowers and Samaritans phone numbers on. My stomach just dropped through the floor of the car and I was crying because people had lost "their" E.

And then I was just so angry at you because I don't want to know what it feels like for them to lose their E.

Equally I don't want them to now be going through all the same horrific days I am, because I lost my E.

Dear E,

I was laying on the sofa and watching TV
That’s when she messaged me.

To tell me you're gone
I didn't believe her, she had to be wrong.

Dear E,

If I could talk to you one last timeI'd say things from this silly little rhyme.

Dear Adriana,

I know keeping you here would have been selfish of me. While of course the trauma of losing you is still raw, I really respect your decision to end it. I know you had lived a lot of trauma yourself over the years and living with bipolar challenged you in ways I can’t even imagine.