For Those Bereaved
Suicide is still very stigmatised and as a result it makes it really hard to talk about, both as someone going through the loss and someone supporting.
Firstly, let us say that we're sorry for your loss and that you are now part of this community. It's not a community that any of us want to join but one that we can support each other in once we're here.
A lack of conversation can lead to feelings of isolation, awkward silences and bottling up your emotions. This is why we want to actively encourage everyone to have more conversations about suicide-related grief. So that it's easier for us as bereaved individuals and we can have better conversations that will help us process and navigate our grief.
We've looked at the guidance and research out there and have worked with our network of individuals with lived experience to build the below advice. This is something we're going to continually build on and improve so that we can all benefit. We've also included people's lived experience through blog pieces below so thank you to everyone that has contributed so far - sometimes the most impactful thing can be resonating with someone else's story and realising that what you're feeling is not unique.
Language
To have conversations we need to have the language - obvious! But when you're bereaved by suicide you have to learn a new language that you have no previous knowledge of. New words are forced into your vocabulary, you have to navigate the physical feelings that words can trigger and most importantly find a way to communicate how you're feeling.
You’re In Control
The most important thing to remember in terms of conversations around your grief and the person you lost is that you are in control. You can decide what you say, when you say it and to who. Sometimes just reminding yourself of that can be helpful.
Shared Loss
On average 6 people are directly bereaved by each suicide. Whether you're personally close with those people (i.e. family members) or not (i.e. that person's best friend), you're linked through this loss but will often react in very different ways.
Location
This may sound silly but sometimes where you have a conversation can make all the difference. We often find that changing your physical location can really help instigate conversations and if you're struggling to talk, creating a situation where you don't have to look at the person in the eye all the time can help.
What Helped Others?
We asked our community to help us understand their experience of having conversations, what they find useful and what they'd recommend to others - take a little read and hopefully some will resonate with you and help you on your journey. Also if you’d like to answer the same questions and be featured in an article below you can fill out your own survey here.
We have also created some guidance for how to navigate your grief around significant dates which you can find here.
We'd also recommend taking a look at two other guides that have sections on having conversations - Help is at Hand and Finding the Words.
