Submission 123
To my brother,
There isn’t a single day I don’t think about you. My heart just isn’t full anymore. I wish I could of saved you, we all do. I should of asked you if you thought about leaving! I didn’t because I didn’t think you ever would. I know you suffered but I didn’t ever think it would come to this.
Submission 122
Dearest husband,
I still can't believe you're gone, its been nearly 3 years. You suffered so much during our 17yrs together, but I never thought we'd lose you to suicide.
Submission 121
Dear Flynn,
I miss you. In everything I do, I miss you.I will never understand why you chose to go, if you fully understood what you were doing. You were so young. It’s been a year, and I’m still trying to come to terms with the fact that you’re gone forever.
Submission 120
Dear Steph,
It’s been a while since we lost you.Your birthday is coming up, we will celebrate in style for you I promise. Sometimes I understand why you did it, but other days I’m fuming . That you couldn’t have waited 2 weeks, till I was back, so that I could’ve seen you one last time and given you the worlds biggest hug before you went. But I know you were desperate to see your mum again, and in a lot of pain.
As time passes, you feel further and further away. Something happens and I realise you will never know about it, that’s the hardest thing. Im so scared to lose my memories of you.
Submission 119
Dear Caroline Flack,
I miss you so much. You were a huge part of my life and continue to be. I have a million things I wish I could tell you. I visit your memorial benches and leave gifts but nothing will ever be enough
Submission 118
Dear Arthur,
I have hated every day since you left. Anything I hold in my hand I want to throw across the room. I cannot register the fact you are no longer alive. I miss hugs. I miss being a big sister to you.
Submission 117
To My Darling Daddio,
Nothing in the world could've prepared me for losing you, ever. Losing you to suicide was something I never saw coming and ultimately would never ever be ready for.
Submission 116
18th birthday,
Your light shines brightly through the tears of sadness through the aching pain of loss, through the ‘what ifs’, ‘What should’ve been’, What could’ve been’.I remember your beautiful smile, Your warm hugs your tinkling laugh, the way you called my name.I scour through my memories for those days of laughter and bustle, the four of you together bouncing off each other’s joy. The energy that only four carefree cousins could share.
Submission 115
My baby
My beautiful baby, I am so sorry that you felt that much pain,I am so sorry that you gave up when you had so much potential . I would have made it all go away , I always did and always would.
Submission 114
Dad,
It’s been 16 years since you left us, and yet sometimes it still feels just like yesterday. I go through stages of being ashamed of still grieving, then other times I am more gentle with myself and accepting that I will probably grieve forever.
Submission 113
J,
We miss you so much, every day we talk about you. I wish I could have done more to help you when you were suffering. All I can hope is that you are now at peace.
Submission 112
Freds,
I used to accidentally roll two cigarettes, one for you, one for me. I would then often imagine you watching over me.
Submission 111
Dear Dad,
There are no good words to include in such a letter. Various emotions mix with each other, I can't even arrange them properly in my head. A letter or even many letters is definitely not enough to tell about over 10 years of life. There will be no dialogue, which is what I would like the most. It is impossible to talk with a letter. At least 5 minutes with you to learn a few things - that's what I would love to have.To this day, I often ask myself a few questions.
Submission 110
To Abbs,
I always knew that, sadly, one day I would lose someone to suicide, but I never prepared myself for it to be you. I still remember the day I found out like it was yesterday.
Submission 109
Hello Patrick,
I am sorry we did not get to finish our conversation or that you did not take up my invitation to come and stay for a while.
I know you were angry. I know you were ‘stuck’. I know you had enough.
You were inside trying to reach out….and we were outside trying to reach in.
Submission 108
Hello Brian,
It has been a while since I last conversed with you. You were such a good conversationalist and story teller. We had very happy memories and funny stories to tell, which you told in your own special way.
Submission 106
Dear H,
You were the best friend, hilarious, irreverent, honest. I wish I new how you were feeling, I didn't even know it was an option, you kept if from us.
Your leaving has changed me forever, changed my family forever, changed so many peoples lives forever.
Submission 105
My baby brother,
Your extraordinary presence still haunts me nearly 2 years on. You were magic. It’s incredible (but not surprising) by how much you continue to inspire me, its bittersweet to think how much more you would have done if you had only chosen to stay.
I miss you. Every day. Every minute. I am so desperate to hold onto everything and anything about you. I try and remember how it felt to sit next to you, how your voice carried throughout the house, how you played the piano to reflect your mood of the day. There’s so much I painfully miss and carry with me.
Submission 104
Dear Papa,
It’s been 68 days since you left. The days keep ticking over, the number increasing at unrelenting speed, and yet, I am stuck in that moment with the words spoken “we’ve lost Dad.”
Submission 103
Dear Dan
13 years since you left us & some days it feels like forever ago & others it feels like yesterday.. the overwhelming feeling of grief just hits so hard some days.