Submission 145
Dear Andrew
There isn't a day that goes by when I do not think of you.I try and think about the good times and how we laughed, the mischief we made, but I am sorry to say that I am still consumed with anger. You have changed mine, my mum and dad's and my husband's lives for ever in so many different and diverse ways.
Submission 144
To My Darling Boy
Your death has no explanation, all I know for sure is that I will never see your beautiful blue eyes, feel your huge hugs or hear your voice again.
Submission 143
To my darling dearest,
You left so suddenly, without a goodbye. There's so many things I still wanted to tell you, so many things I still wanted to do with you, so many years of life I still wanted to share with you.
Just 3 days before you left this world we started looking at where to get married, with the way we were talking and our excitement I'd say we'd be married by now if you were still here. We had our jokey engagement which I'm pretty sure would've ended up being the real thing. I didn't care how we did it, the engagement, marriage, any of it.
Submission 142
To my father figure,
You told me you would always be here for me, no matter what but the darkness won
You were the father I never had and I will spend a lifetime thinking of the goodbyes I never got to say
Submission 141
To my brother, my best friend
It will be 2 years soon 12th December 2020 and the days do not get any easier. I long for the day I can wrap my arms around you and tell you how much I miss you and love you so much.
Submission 140
Dear Emma
Tired. Broken. Lost.
That’s how I’ve felt every day since losing you. I don’t think I will ever accept what has happened, and that you are gone.
Submission 139
To my daddy,
I miss you so much. 8 years without you and my heart hurts.
I have a dad shaped hole in my life but you are my biggest inspiration and I am trying to help people like you. I have done so much over the last 8 years and I would have loved to have had you there with me. But everything I do, you are in my thoughts and I carry your love and strength with me everyday.
You were an amazing man and I will ensure nobody ever forgets the kind, gentle and caring man that taught me so much.
Submission 138
Dear Tom
I was not ready to let you go. I’m not angry with you, how could do I be.
You were the the light of my my life the laughter in my heart, always being daft yet intelligent.
Submission 137
Dad,
It’s taken me a little while to have the courage to write this letter.
In my head I talk to you every day, but somehow having to summarise the last eight years without you didn’t seem possible.
Submission 136
Dear Ryan
Its only been 3 months, 1 week and 1 day since I last held you, heard your voice and said I love you son. Life is unbearable with out you.
Submission 135
Dear Grandad,
It’s been really hard without you. Mum was saying these really nice things about you then burst into tears like I did yesterday. Mum is so devastated :(
Submission 134
Dear Grandad,
I really miss you nothing is the same without you we all miss you. I think of you every day. Rest in peace grandad. P.s I will always love you! I am super proud of you :)
Submission 133
My brother
How I wish this was another of your jokes, I don't think I'd even mind if it was. But here we are, 8 months on, and the many people I think may be you, have always turned round & never been you.
Submission 132
Dear my wee Scottish pal,
It’s been 2 tarts since you’ve gone and it only feel like yesterday that I got the call, I can still hear the screams in my mum and dad’s kitchen when I close my eyes as that’s where I was when I found out, I miss you mate, it was never meant to end like this
Submission 131
My Bestie,
From the moment you said hi to me on that first day of school, I knew we were going to have something great. I wasn't wrong, either. We were stuck together like glue. Through school, university, studying abroad, jobs, moving homes, falling in and out of love; you and me were a constant.
Submission 130
To my darling sis
There are things I'd like to say to you,
I would want you to know,
You are loved unconditionally…
Submission 129
To my boyfriend,
It’s almost 3 and a half years since you left.You were 19. We had known each other since we were both 11 years old. I had no idea of the pain you were carrying but you knew about mine.
Submission 128
Dear C,
There’s so many things that’ve been left unsaid, it’s hard to know where to start. The clarity with which suicide focuses the mind onto what I most want you to know is only balanced out by the amount of things I want to share with you - the list of which will continue to grow for as long as there’s breath in my body.
Submission 127
Dear Dad,
It’s been 17 years without you now and some things become easier and some become harder. People say the pain never lessens but it does, the rough waves just become further apart and there is more time to breathe before the next one crashes.
Submission 126
To my Luke,
Its been over two years but my heart aches the same. I keep looking for answers and can never seem to find them, I can only hope that you are at peace. I wish that one day I learn to understand why you did this but for now I take comfort in thinking you just fell asleep. I hope you are at peace, I hope heaven is everything you ever dreamed off.
I have so much to tell you, I wish I could just have one last conversation. I had a baby, she is amazing I’m convinced you sent her to me, she is everything I ever dreamed off and she has saved me from letting the grief take over. I have a new house and a new job, I’m really trying to turn everything around.