Dear Erne,

I find it hard to put in words how much I miss you. The day you left us you took a part of each of us. Months and years has past and we are since trying to figure out who we are now without you.I would trade anything in this world just to see you one last time.

To my brother,

There isn’t a single day I don’t think about you. My heart just isn’t full anymore. I wish I could of saved you, we all do. I should of asked you if you thought about leaving! I didn’t because I didn’t think you ever would. I know you suffered but I didn’t ever think it would come to this.

Dear Flynn,

I miss you. In everything I do, I miss you.I will never understand why you chose to go, if you fully understood what you were doing. You were so young. It’s been a year, and I’m still trying to come to terms with the fact that you’re gone forever.

Hello Patrick,

I am sorry we did not get to finish our conversation or that you did not take up my invitation to come and stay for a while.

I know you were angry. I know you were ‘stuck’. I know you had enough.

You were inside trying to reach out….and we were outside trying to reach in.

My baby brother,

Your extraordinary presence still haunts me nearly 2 years on. You were magic. It’s incredible (but not surprising) by how much you continue to inspire me, its bittersweet to think how much more you would have done if you had only chosen to stay.

I miss you. Every day. Every minute. I am so desperate to hold onto everything and anything about you. I try and remember how it felt to sit next to you, how your voice carried throughout the house, how you played the piano to reflect your mood of the day. There’s so much I painfully miss and carry with me.

Dear Snoop

It’s nearly 2 years since you’ve been gone and although it feels like just yesterday we were chatting about Christmas presents and what we’d get mum, it feels forever since I’ve heard your belly laugh and seen your cheeky little grin.

To my dear brother

There is not a single hour that passes where I don’t think of you. The pain you were in and our desperation to “fix it” you had suffered for so long I struggle to even contemplate how that must of felt.

To my sister H

Sometimes I have to ignore the indescribable blackness and sorrow that has has engulfed my world since you died. I think of you and just swallow that tight feeling in my throat. I push it away because it's too much to bare. I hug your nieces tightly and move through the day as best I can.

To my Brother

Why? That was the question I couldn’t move past for years. I couldn’t understand, so I found explanation in blaming you and blaming myself.

To my brother,

In a few months I will be older in days than you got the chance to be, a strange realisation for a little sister.

Dear Marc,

There's so much I wish I could say but I won't ever find the words to explain the pain I feel without you, the hopelessness, how everything seems pointless without you.

Hey Ciaran,

2 years on and I still can’t believe that you have gone. I still wait for the text and the silly GIPHY. Miss your voice and silly laugh!