Submission 82
J.J
Just over 2 years have passed since you left us. There’s been so much you’ve missed getting your degree which your university still sent out, meeting your new nephew and seeing your other niece and nephew start new schools.
Submission 81
Dear Dad,
I'm not sure where to start. 2 and a half years on and I am beginning to be able to feel a glimmer of warmth when I hear your laugh in videos or see your smile in all the photos your loved ones share of you.
Submission 80
Dear Joel,
Today would be your 25th Birthday, it’s also marks 5 years since we lost you.
I’ve come to the tough realisation that I have now officially lived without you as long as I lived with you. We became friends at 15, lost you at 20 and now I’m 25. And that is a pretty bitter pill to swallow.
Submission 79
Mum,
I often dream that we are together again. I tell you how awful it was that you had died, you’d died by suicide and how terrible it was for us all that we had thought we had lost you.
Submission 78
Dear Marc,
There's so much I wish I could say but I won't ever find the words to explain the pain I feel without you, the hopelessness, how everything seems pointless without you.
Submission 77
Hey Ciaran,
2 years on and I still can’t believe that you have gone. I still wait for the text and the silly GIPHY. Miss your voice and silly laugh!
Submission 76
To my darling Mike,
I think every day about what I would say if I could speak to you one last time. The truth is there really is so much to tell you.
Submission 75
Beautiful Duncan,
My Darling Duncan, OH how I miss you,I am broken, there are no answers and I will always ask why.Your brother says when we meet again, to you it will be seconds but to us it will feel forever and I won't even care Why you left I will just be so pleased to be with you again.
Submission 74
Louise,
Born just nine months apart I feel like you were always there, my cousin, my best friend throughout childhood and into adulthood.
Submission 73
T,
The pain of losing you is deeper than I could have ever imagined. Some part of me always questioned if this is how things would end. You lived so much of your life in fear, you were tormented by your mind and you suffered in so many ways. The only comfort I get from your decision is knowing that your mind cannot trouble you anymore, that you have found a peace now that you could never find while you were here.
Submission 72
Momma and Wendy,
Only in recent years did I realise the suffering you both endured in your life. I cannot imagine living through times you did, and I was so lucky to grow up around you as my mother and auntie. For that I was truly blessed and ever grateful.
Submission 71
Tom,
God, I miss you. I miss you every second of every day.People ask the question, is it better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all….
Submission 70
To my hero, Ewee,
You came into my life 25 years ago at a time when I was very unwell and you were recovering from your own ill health. We fell in love and married 5 years later, 2nd time around for us both. You were everything to me - you were my strength and shield, encouraging me, supporting me; you enabled me to be the me I wanted to be again.
Submission 69
My Darling Brother,
It's been 2 years and 4 months since you departed.
It’s always been you and me, brother and sister .....and the world. We always had each other. Our sibling bond connected us no matter where we were or what we were doing. We were the joint keepers of our childhood memories and that’s so special. Just knowing we had each other here on earth was a constant comfort in our lives.
Submission 68
My big brother,
I often wonder where you are. I wonder if your there in the breeze and I look out into the horizon and tell myself your energy is soaring in the fuzzy bit between the sea and the sky. Because no energy can just disappear right?
Submission 67
Hi Sweetpea,
The sun is out and has been for a few days. You should be sunbathing on your balcony with Freddie on your lap and a beer in your hand.
Submission 66
Dear Anton,
It’s now been 2 years, 3 months and 25 days since you left us. This seems surreal, and very hard to take in. Certainly, the pain of losing you has not ebbed during that time, but remains as fresh as the day we heard that most terrible news, the news that our beautiful boy had gone.
In those early days, weeks, months, even the first 2 years, shock was an ally.
Submission 65
To my best friend
Age 10, you'd run around the playground being Squiff, the blue monster with purple spikes, giving us nicknames and causing chaos.
Age 11 we moved to secondary school together, trudging the halls in huge blazers and buckets of excitement.
Submission 64
Christian,
I love you so much, I'm so sorry that your pain was too much to bear. I do understand though. I understand that you felt you couldn't go on in this way, that there was no way forward. I feel it was a perfect storm...feeling down, leaving your love because, if you disliked yourself so much how could you love another. Then leaving your job, your career. Looking for a way to help yourself, help find yourself through yoga, then the pandemic and your dreams were squashed. Isolation, terrible loneliness then starting treatment. Drugs, inpatient stays.
Even in your darkest moments you thought of us all. How did you do that, I'll always be baffled by that. You dug so deeply. So unselfish.
Submission 63
Dearest Hugh,
This week marks 10 years since you passed away. It’s hard to get my head around that. Somethings have changed; the physical pain of losing you has weakened and I am not stopped in my tracks with a pain in my chest, my breath catching in my throat as often; I don’t wake up in tears from dreams where you are alive as much anymore; I don’t stutter anymore when people ask ‘what happened?’; I don’t fear having to tell people rather, I want people to know that you were more than how you died.
I want people to know that you were the funniest, cleverest and warmest person. When you died, the loudest volume of my laughter died too.