To My Beautiful Big Brother,

It’s been just over 8 months since you left this world. I know you thought it was the best decision at the time but you will never truly understand how much we all love you and how much we all miss you.

The best big sister,

I have written to you every year since , all the things I would usually tell you , the things I would only go to you for . I miss your smile and your voice and how easy it was for you to light up a room. I miss the times I needed you and you were there.

Dear Mum, Dear Bro,

I am angry you left without explaining honestly how you felt and what you were considering and let us help you. I'm angry you didn't fully seek mental health support, when we could have paid.

To my brother

Hi Matt, summer is finally over again and I can start to breathe again. I don’t think I can ever enjoy a summer again no matter how much I convince myself. I think everyone thinks I’m crazy as all I look forward to is Christmas! I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me the most.

To my Big Bro,

It's almost been 100 days since you left us. Thinking about how you must have been feeling tears me apart and keeps me awake, scared of the nightmares that come. I feel like I can't keep the people I love, safe any more.

Hi Boy,

I miss you. I’m so angry with you. But I miss you. I think my anger bubbles up because it’s easier to feel than how much I love you.

God, I would have died to take away those feelings that let you reach where you did that night.

To my baby brother,

My other half is a term associated with love

I’m using it to describe you, my brother up above


My brain etched with memories of laughter and joy


Only shared with you my brother, my special boy


There’s a poem called the dash, about time on this earth


About the use of our time from the day of our birth


Your time on this earth so short and sweet

To my sister,

I miss you. I'm still angry. Still confused. Still wondering if it is real. It's been 7 months since the phone call I replay in my head over and over to remind me it is real or sometimes when I want to feel the pain just so I can miss you.

To my Brother,

I lost you nearly three years ago, and I am still to process it all. Some days are good, and the relief I feel is no longer just temporary- but the reality and reminders of you still crush me before the day is done.

Dear big brother,

To my big brother.

To the one who was supposed to be along my side till the day life did us apart, to the one who was supposed to be a shoulder to lay on when things got tough. To the one who I was supposed to tell all my friends about, because of how much I looked up to you, and how much I wished I could be you when I grew up.

To the one who I still look up to, just not in the same sense as I did when I spoke your name, now it is just a lonely, long, stare at the stars - hoping you are looking down and telling me it will be okay.

To my amazing twin brother

Taylor, I miss you so much; life will never be the same without your laugh. We’re twins, we’re meant to be in this world together, we’re meant to be the same age. But now I’m 21 and you’re still 20… I feel like I’m leaving you behind.

Reader

Where to begin? Well,

typically, anniversaries might celebrate something like a relationship or a work achievement. This anniversary certainly didn’t feel like an occasion for celebration.

To my baby sister

It’s scary without you. Like, nothing feels right. Most of my days are just dull and hopeless now. I do have some interesting ones but the fact that I can’t tell you about all those moments is PAINFUL.

Chaz,

It’s been 10 months since you left us. Since I lost my little brother... Since the world lost one of the sweetest souls. Some days I think I’ve lost the sound of your voice, and my world comes crumbling.

To my baby brother

It’s been almost a year without you, without your goofy smile and your silly jokes. I miss you everyday. I blame myself for not seeing any signs, for not knowing what you were going through. I wish I could’ve taken your pain away and I wish you were still here. There was so much more in life you deserved to experience.

To my baby brother

It's hard to believe that five years have passed since that fateful day, July 29, 2018. It was the day when you chose to leave it all behind, seeking freedom from the struggles that burdened you. Little did I know that behind your enigmatic smile, you were silently carrying such profound pain.

To my brother Pete

I can’t put my finger on what I miss about you. I often just sit and think about you. I’m lucky to have so many memories of our childhood, and I think about how you always wanted to show me and tell me everything you knew about the world…like you were preparing me the whole time for when you leave. I still use all that you showed me…so you’re never out of my thoughts and I often think. I go fishing to clear my mind, but only think about how you taught me to fish. I listen to music constantly to exercise the emotions that I can’t always show…and it’s always listening to music that you played to me when we were young.

To my younger brother,

As the days go on, I continuously wonder why. Why did you have to feel the way that you did?

To my baby brother,

I love you. It's coming on eleven years since your death. I miss you. I miss who you were, the sarcasm, the jokes. You were the only person in the world who found everything as ridiculous as me. I've never found anyone to match your wit. I also miss who you could have been. You were so young when you died. I don't know who you would have been now. I'm 35 now and you're 22. We were always less than two years apart. Now there's a whole generation between us. I have two girls, I tell them about you. I call you uncle. I know you would have found them so funny. I'm sure they would have laughed at you too.

Dear Iz

I’m sorry I haven’t written more. It’s been a while—and the honest truth is that I’ve been putting it off.

It’s not that I don’t want to think about you and what has happened to our family, but I know that you would want me to enjoy this time—enjoy getting engaged and planning a wedding. I’ve let the excitement sweep me up and take me along for a ride, but it’s bittersweet. This big ‘life moment’ and everything that is coming with it has only made it more real that you’re not with us anymore. I think about you all the time, and I miss you so much.

Dearest Tommy

I look for you everyday. In every bird I see. In every phase of the moon that passes. I wait for a sign from you. For your voice to ring in my ear. For you to walk through my door. The world seems to be moving but I am stationary. I hear laughter around me but I scream silently in my head. Will I ever be happy again? I miss you with every fibre of my being. I love you unconditionally.

How can you be gone? I move through life only to see you again. The day you left me was the day my heart slowed down and changed to a whimper. I am still here but I am a shadow of myself. Your nephew recognises pictures of you and cuddles them. He has started walking now and chats so much. He is the very image of you.

Dear My Brother Stephen

NO MATTER WHAT IL ALWAYS BE STOOD WITH YOU.THERE WHERE SO MANY THINGS I WANTED TO SAY TO YOU. YOU TRIED TO THRIVE AND IN THE END YOU JUST COULDN’T SURVIVE.

To my sweet brother

It has only been two months. Two months since our family lost your sweet soul. There are so many things I regret. I regret not asking you how you were doing everyday, ignoring some texts, and most of all I regret not seeing what you were going through. You were always smiling.

Dear Andrew

There isn't a day that goes by when I do not think of you.I try and think about the good times and how we laughed, the mischief we made, but I am sorry to say that I am still consumed with anger. You have changed mine, my mum and dad's and my husband's lives for ever in so many different and diverse ways.

To my brother, my best friend

It will be 2 years soon 12th December 2020 and the days do not get any easier. I long for the day I can wrap my arms around you and tell you how much I miss you and love you so much.

Dear Emma

Tired. Broken. Lost.

That’s how I’ve felt every day since losing you. I don’t think I will ever accept what has happened, and that you are gone.

My brother

How I wish this was another of your jokes, I don't think I'd even mind if it was. But here we are, 8 months on, and the many people I think may be you, have always turned round & never been you.

To my darling sis

There are things I'd like to say to you,

I would want you to know,

You are loved unconditionally…

Dear Erne,

I find it hard to put in words how much I miss you. The day you left us you took a part of each of us. Months and years has past and we are since trying to figure out who we are now without you.I would trade anything in this world just to see you one last time.

To my brother,

There isn’t a single day I don’t think about you. My heart just isn’t full anymore. I wish I could of saved you, we all do. I should of asked you if you thought about leaving! I didn’t because I didn’t think you ever would. I know you suffered but I didn’t ever think it would come to this.